Good evening, and welcome to The Guardian’s Game of Thrones finale liveblog. This is it; after eight seasons, 72 episodes, around 700 credited actors and over a million whiny, entitled, screeching, soggy-knickered manbaby petition signatories, Game of Thrones finally ends tonight.
Nobody quite knows what to expect from tonight’s episode. Our best hope is that the finale will wrap up all the show’s loose threads in a visually spectacular and satisfyingly dramatic masterwork that changes the television landscape forever. Then again, everyone from leakers to castmembers have been busy bracing us for what some people have called the worst finale in TV history, so we probably shouldn’t get our hopes up too much really.
Anyway, the important thing is that I’ll be here for you all the way through it. That’s right: you’ve been preparing to give the Game of Thrones finale your undivided attention for almost a decade now, and I’m asking you to read a liveblog. Say what you like about The Guardian, but at least we’re consistent.
And what a liveblog this will be. It has already begun (even though the episode won’t start until 2am British time) and I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to stop until about 5am (even though the episode finishes at 3:20am). How will I manage to fill such a genuinely colossal amount of time? GOD ALONE KNOWS. But you’re going to stay awake with me for the whole thing, right? Right? Good.